The Sudden Loss of My Husband

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The Sudden Loss of My Husband

by Christine
(Australia)

My husband was killed just over seven weeks ago in a car crash caused by speed and dangerous driving by the other driver. I feel that I am not coping and at times feel as if I am getting worse each day. The shock and disbelief has left me numb but a the same time the pain is indescribable. I have dreams which make me so full of sorrow but at the same time I want to dream about him. I am so afraid of my future. We had 31 years together. I feel uncertain that this will ever feel better and am so depressed.

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The Sudden Loss of My Husband

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Aug 30, 2011

sudden loss of a husband
by: Janelle (administrator)

My heart responds so deeply to these posts and comments. I know what it was like for me and it was exhausting and shattering as have been mentioned in recent comments.

If you can find the energy, I encourage you to spend some time reading some articles in the truama healing section of the site. This was information that I found helpful to me as I went through the sudden loss of my husband 6 years ago now.

Of course nothing can take away the pain, but it can provide understanding.

Aug 29, 2011

Husband died tractor accident
by: shauna

My husband died 1 month ago suddenly, a tractor rolled on him. I was able to tell him that I loved him that morning before work, thank God. Daily I am waking up and going to bed crying. Cannot sleep without sleeping pills. Otherwise lay awake visualizing the accident and driving myself crazy with thoughts of him suffering. I sometimes want to go back to the shock stage! I am so sad, part of me has died. We were together for 25 years, and neither of us had ever known another intimately. How do I EVER at 44 years old move on with out him? Our 4 children are a blessing, and I will try hard because of them but sometimes, I just want to crawl into a hole and join my husband.

Aug 29, 2011

Lost my loving husband/best friend 25.06.2011
by: Linda

I am shattered. I am exhausted. It's been around 9 weeks and I fee like it was just yesterday. I miss my husband so very much and wish I could be with him as I know it is impossible for him to be with me. The only reason why I am still here is because of our 8 year old daughter. How am I supposed to carry on life normally without him. I don't know how and I don't want to anymore. I am so tired.....

Aug 07, 2011

The sudden loss of my husband
by: Anonymous

Hi, I read your comments and i know exactly how it feels to have lost a husband. I recently lost my partner, we were planning to get married and I only have 4 weeks left now before i have our baby. Like you I wake up from dreams, in my dreams i always seem to dream that I am trying to call him on his mobile phone but never able to reach him. I talk to him whenever i am on my own usually at night and tell her how much i love him. Its my way of still having a relationship with him as i can't accept a goodbye thats far too sad.

He was only a young man and it was sudden and unexpected. i came home and found him and that image of him was so tragic i can't belive how i lifted him in my arms as he was a very tall person 6 ft 6ft but i found the strength because i loved him so much. I know it don't take away any of your sadness but you had many long happy years together, i so wish i had had that amount of years with my partner and sometimes i wish i was old just so i could be with him again and not have to wait for so many years to be together.

I know about the ifs and buts, i do it now, if only i had been there i could have saved my loving man, i had done so many times before. He had epilepsy and he never liked to talk about it or let it prevent him from doing things that everyone did. He was the most caring man i had ever known and without nhim i feel so lonely and it hurts that i have to face motherhood on my own and not have him to share that happiness with me of having our baby. He was so overwhelmed and happy to know he was going to be a dad. The last image of have of seeing his face before he died was him bringing me up a glass of milk in the middle of the night, and him not being able to sleep.

My parter was my best friend, and i know how much pain and sadness it leaves in your life. I am so sorry and i couldnt help share my emotions with you.

Aug 06, 2011

How to Cope?
by: Anonymous

I lost my husband 4 weeks ago today. He died suddenly of stroke caused by a massive brain tumor. We had no idea that he had a brain tumor and later found out that he also had lung cancer. No symptoms, no warnings, no knowledge. Now I find myself in disbelief and trying to figure out how to wake up each day. We were together for 27 years - since I was 15 years old. I am now a 42 year old widow with 4 kids and no purpose. No last goodbye, no last hug. No one really understands what it's like so I put on the brave face and act strong. If they only knew...

Jul 17, 2011

empty days and nights
by: Anonymous

I read all of these comments about loosing a husband/partner and I feel that yes, a partner is a best friend. Whats so so hard is that you share your whole life with them, you go to bed and have someone to cuddle and someone to wake up with, someone to share your whole life with. you do so much together, and intimacy, love, romance, care, they are with you 24/7.

When I lost my partner, we were about to get amrried and have our baby. He was my future, the only person i could cuddle throughout the night.

You can have the closest family, and friends. I have had friends promise me theyre be there 24/7 but they say all of that, then you hardly hear from them. snd your family love you and csre, but they arent with you every waking hour like your partner use to be. its a different kind of love altogether. You can't explain it. and even most your family go home to their partners and have someone to spend their evening with. I don;t watch tv, my family say you should watch this pragramme, but i can't watch tv any more because when i did, i would be cuddled up on the sofa with him stroking my hair. And at night when i lay sleeping i touch his pillow longing to hold him and lye in his arms like we use to.

Jul 06, 2011

Loosing My Best Friend & Husband
by: Anonymous

I feel your grief. I lost my husband in a tractor accident on July 20, 2004. I miss him everyday and can't get over the nightmares of finding him under the tractor dead and nothing I could do to help him.
People say it gets easier as time passes, but I have not found that out yet. I do see someone to help me through the grief, but the would'a-coulda-shoulda's are with me everyday. I will never be the same.

Jan 30, 2011

so sorry
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry.
I too lost my husband four months ago in a horrific car accident, caused by another human's stupidity.
He was on his way home from work, only five minutes away. I can still hear the sirens.(not knowing they were for him)The guys were going to stop and have a beer after work and my husband said,"no,I'm going home to my wife".
He is my best friend. Who do you go to now? I don't want another best friend, I want the one I had.I can't imagine that another human being could even possibly come close to knowing how it feels.Family & friends mean so well, but how can they know? Impossible.
I wake up crying. I go to bed crying. I find it very difficult to be among the public. I don't want to be around anybody. My face is swollen my eyes are sore and so very chapped from wiping away the tears that don't ever seem to stop.
They say that crying cleanse's the soul.
Please know that in my heart, I am so sorry for to know that there is some one out there who's shattered heart feels like mine. It's unbearable.
I am so sorry. Sorry for your broken heart.
I wish I could hug you.

Jan 16, 2011

When death knocks on your door
by: J.R.W.

Shock/You hear what’s going on but you only go through motions or led by someone else
Denial/Disbelief – You want to stay asleep, you pray when you wake it was all a dream
Bewilderment/Unable to focus, lost
Disorientation/don’t know what to do, wandering aimlessly
Anguish/from the deepest abyss, it is dark but it is day
Panic/Every fiber of your being is racing, run, but where, hide from reality
Exhaustion/Almost coma like sleep, it is so, so deep, a safety net, the mind cannot cope
Fear/Your world has shifted to an unknown, life feels gone, your protector is gone, you’re vulnerable to everything
Depression/You somehow fell out of your picture frame into someone else’s movie and do not want to watch it. Unable to feel the pain will ease. Unable to feel…

I look back at these words...it's almost a year since my husbands death. It somehow feels like yesterday. A weekly grief group has been a blessing. It's not a class, come and go as you want. Maybe you can find one...call local hospitals or pastor. It is a long walk through grief that should not be taken alone. My heart goes out to you.

Joy

Jan 12, 2011

loss of husband
by: Janelle

The loss of a husband has been my journey as well. I know that it is not easy.

I just wanted to point out the interview with Michelle Neff Hernandez, the founder of Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation.

Those who have lost spouses may find some of their resources helpful.

Jan 11, 2011

loss of my hsband
by: Anonymous

I lost my husband of 41 years 30 07 2010 diagnosed with a rare illness and died 12 months later I too feel totally lost I dont have a purpose any more I dont know how to live my life without him I have never really had a single life always been part of a couple and I find I am wondering where do I go from here only those who have lost apartner will understand what I am saying

Nov 09, 2010

husband
by: calumetokla@yahoo.com

My husband of 34 years died of cancer..he was gone in a few weeks after we knew what was wrong.
I'm not doing well..looking for a way to get through this and something more i can't put words to.
What is between a husband wife is not something you can share with your children, friends or relatives..there is nothing to compare it to and when that is gone..it's a loss that's so heart breaking you can put it into words.
My husband has been gone for 17 months. I miss him. Life isn't much without him..

Oct 21, 2010

living after loss
by: Janelle

Christine,

I'm so sorry to hear that you are experiencing this terrible loss. The sudden loss of a husband because of someone else's carelessness is tough. Everyone's grief experience is different, but our stories are similar in the type of loss except that my husband and I were married much less time.

May you find glimpses of hope in these difficult days. My heart is with you as I read your story.

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The Sudden Loss of My Husband

Comments for The Sudden Loss of My Husband

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The Sudden Loss of My Husband