Jasons Story By C. Cox

by Connie Cox
(Kankakee, Illinois)

My son Jason Ashby Cox was killed on April 6, 2011. He had gotten home from work around 3:15pm, and drove his dad around looking for a new truck for his dad. They were home by 5:10pm and Jason got his Suz Jxr out to ride with his buddies (8 of them). He never came back home.

He was in the back of the group. A car pulled out in front of Jason after letting 5 of the bikers pass him. Jasons two friends were just behind him so when Jasons bike hit the car, it pushed the car and bike in the ditch, which allowed the two bikers behind Jason to ride thru without any contact, which actually saved their lives. A blessing from GOD! Jason died on impact.

Jason was my oldest of 3 boys. He was 23 at the time of the accident. His birthday was Aug. 26. We had a candle lite remembrance in honor of his special day and had 125 friends and family show up. It truly was amazing with all the support we had and still do.

Jason left behind his brothers Brandon 21 and Nathan 19. Its so hard to see them struggle with such a deep wound as grief. I see it in their eyes and all I can do for them is pray, which I do everyday.

As Jason's mom I struggle everyday. There are days I struggle so bad I ask myself, "what's the point of getting out of bed?" This has been the worst death I have ever gone thru, I have lost both parents to cancer and just 6 weeks before Jason's accident we buried my husbands mother. My mother passed away Aug. 5, 2009. So its been rough and I pray someday I will be able to find the "new normal" or the purpose of all the sadness in our lives.

Thank-you for allowing me to share with you my son, JASON A. COX.

Comments for Jasons Story By C. Cox

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Oct 21, 2011
 loss of a child
by: janis

I am so sorry for the loss of your son :( We lost our daughter to leukemia after a 2 1/2 year battle. She was 20 years old.
The loss of a child is so traumatic....there are no words for it.
After 9 months we connected with a group here in our city called "Grief Share". Look it up on the internet and see if there are groups meeting in your area. I was hesitant at first because i'm such a private person but it has been such a BIG help for both me and my husband and our 19 year old son.
Something about being in the "safe" company of others who are grieving is very encouraging and healing.
I hope this may help you too.
you will be in my prayers ((HUGS))
Oct 20, 2011
 journaling and Christmas
by: Janelle

Hi Connie,

I'm so glad to hear that journaling has been such a good help to you. Also wonderful that you made so many scrapbooks through the years. What a treasure.

About Christmas, you might be interested in reading Ian's Gift. It is an interview with a mother whose son died at a much younger age than Jason, but it might help get some ideas flowing for you. I'll keep thinking of other suggestions and let you know.
Oct 20, 2011
 Jasons Story
by: Connie

I have been journaling for many years and since the death of Jason, I have a journal for him that I write in everyday. I let him know how my day went and whats happening in our family. It really has helped me being able to have that time at the end of the day to just share with him. I also scrapbook, which is also a good way to keep my mind busy. Ive made all 3 of my sons a scrapbook from birth-graduation. I am so greatful I have Jasons to look back on. As Christmas gets closer, Im at a loss as what to do. I dont really want to change our normal routine, but am at a loss. If anyone has any ideas please share. Thank-you and God bless.
Oct 20, 2011
 Jason's Story
by: Janelle

Dear Connie,

What sadness. I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine what it would be like to lose a son. Your asking yourself, "What's the point of getting out of bed?" is a very normal response to this kind of traumatic grief.

It is not unusual that the loss of a child so suddenly would feel harder than the loss of a parent. The natural order of life is that the older generation dies first. Even though those deaths may also be hard, it does seem harder when the order is reversed.

Some of the things that helped me deal with the death of my husband were creating memory books and grief journaling. You may find other methods of expressing your grief most helpful.

You also might find the information on the trauma healing pages useful.

May you find ways to be honest with your emotions and keep looking for beauty and hope in life.

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