George A Kamer

by Kim
(Riverside, Ca.)

Honey it's been 1 month since your passing and I am still in complete shock. We had so many more plans for life and I just had to spend our 18th wedding anniversary without you by my side.

I'm so grateful that we had that many years of pure love and bliss. You were my everything and trying to get used to life without you hurts so much.

Our kids are so sad and they miss you so much too. Our daughter is getting married soon and she isn't looking forward to walking down that aisle without you. Our sons baby is just learning to crawl and you would be so proud of your grandson.

I still don't understand the reason God took you at 48 but I trust he has his plans up there for you. You are not in any more pain and you didn't deserve to live your last 11 years in the pain you were in.

We truly could not have asked for a better husband, father, or grandfather. I know I will see you again someday my love but it will never be soon enough. I love you still with all my heart and I miss you like crazy. I'm sending you the biggest hug to Heaven.......Until we meet again. Forever and always in my heart. Love, Lay Lay:)

Comments for George A Kamer

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Aug 31, 2011
 your reactions are normal
by: Janelle

Hi Kim,

Yes, you sound very normal and what you describe does sound familiar. There is no need to rush things. I know that often there can be pressure to "get over it" and "move on," but that is really unrealistic for this stage of your grief. Yes, you will be happy again, but life is completely changed, so it takes time to adjust to that.

I don't know if you have had time to read other articles on the site. But for me it was most helpful to find ways to get my emotions out, through journaling, photography, and poetry.

Memory books where also very helpful. They were like a two for one--they helped me work through my pain and now I have the wonderful memories preserved. My son and I enjoy looking through those books regularly.

You might also want to consider attending Camp Widow. There is one on the east coast in April and one on the west coast in August. I am hoping to attend the one on the east coast next spring. I haven't been to one yet, but other widows I've met online have raved about how helpful it is to be with so many people who are or have experienced a similar loss.

And yes, I'm sorry to say it will keep being hard for a while and maybe even get harder. It takes time. Keep connected to your children and to others who understand that easy answers are not what is most helpful.

My thoughts are with you today.
Aug 31, 2011
 Still hurting
by: Kim

Hi Janelle, thank you for your kind words and for those scriptures. It's been a month and a half now and my heart still aches so much. I still cry a lot and I'm scared of what my future will hold without my George. It still doesn't seem real to me and I wonder if other people react the way I am. We had his memorial on August 20,2011 and I thought it might bring me some closure and I felt like I was just going through the motions that day and I have no closure because all I want is for him to come back. I know that sounds selfish of me because he is no longer in 24 hour pain and he is with the Lord and probably so happy to be there and not in this evil world anymore but I guess I'm only human. I miss his smell, his smile, his hugs and his unconditional love he gave me and our kids. Everyone keeps saying that with time things will get better but for me and our kids we all say it is getting harder. Maybe these are just part of the steps people go through while grieving, I don't know. I feel helpless because I don't know what to tell my kids to make it any easier. I know you've been through this already and I was wondering if any of this sounds familiar? I don't want people to think I'm going over board because I'm not healing yet, but I don't know how to feel any better about losing my best friend and husband. If you have any advice for me please feel free to share with me. I dont have anyone that I can talk to about these things that can relate to me. Take care, Kim.
Aug 17, 2011
 your loss
by: Janelle

Dear Kim,

I'm so sorry you are living through this loss, and with so many special markers, like the anniversary and wedding so soon afterwards.

It certainly does not make up for his absence, but I am glad to read that you have 18 years of lovely memories.

Now comes the tough journey of learning how to enjoy life without the one who helped you make so many of those good memories.

So we learn how to live in the sorrow with hearts open to seeing new beauty in life...

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