Wishing I could take a Mother's Grief Away!

by Karla Kilpatrick
(Huntsville, Alabam)

I am very sorry for your loss and wanted to share my stepsons story. It was 4th of July 2014 when I received the call that changed everything. My partner, Pam, of 17 yrs called in a panic stating that her ex husband called and said he'd found their son in a motel room unresponsive due to a Methadone/Xanax overdose. Of course, I wanting to think positive and tell her everything was going to be okay.....he'd pull through.....he's tough...but, I WAS WRONG! It was only a few moments after I'd arrived at the hospital that the Dr. came in and told us that he'd been down for way too long and that even if he did wake up, he would basically be a vegetable. We all got to be with him and hold his hand and express our love for him for the next 12 hrs as he lay dying. The Dr. told Pam(Tommy's mom) that accidental overdoses like this were not uncommon among recovering addicts(Tommy had been in rehab for three months before returning home thinking he had kicked the drug habit forever). The doctor said that many times when recovering addicts start to use again, they go back to using the same amount of drugs that they used prior to rehab. Their drug tolerance is much lower than before and their bodies cant handle the amount of drugs its being subjected to and shut down. This has been so hard on her and it breaks my heart that I cant take the hurt away. I miss him too, but I can never hurt or feel the loss that she does. I hope that one day she'll find a way to turn this horrible tragedy into something positive. Until then, I'll just keep praying for God to help each day be a little better for her. If there is anything anyone knows that I can do to help, please let me know. I feel like a lot of her anger and grief is directed towards me and I honestly am at a loss of how to deal with it and how to help her.

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