Wife and Mother

by Pat
(NY)

My story, how do I tell it? It is very hard for me to say that my 51y/o husband passed so suddenly from routine colonoscopy in July, 2014. I dropped him off and suppose to pick him when he finished only to received a phone call that there has been a serious complication and he is rushed to emergency room. upon getting to hospital I was lead to a room to be informed is death. my whole world stop. one of my daughters have been ill but getting better.
Suddenly she get very sick and last two weeks of her life continue playing in head, as mother , a nurse, of if I could have do this or that her life could be prolong. she died of liver failure complication in dec/2014, with five months of my husband dead. for the passed 10years, I lost my mother in-law, my father in-law, my mother, my father and my junior sister husband. Right now is hard for me to get out from bed. but I have to because, I still have four children who want me here. they worry about me. and I am try to be strong. I am not so angry at God but myself. I think is my lock. I try to turn to the bible stories and God promises for comfort. but I wonder why God did not delivered my husband and my daughter. Most preachers always preach about God miracle, why could I received one for husband my daughter. I beg God to say my child. people usual says that God knows or God give and God take. Can God just take my husband and my 19y/o child like that, so young with many plans and uncompleted businesses. I do not know how to continue with my life, but the only thing I know is to find the strength with in me to be strong. as people always tell me to be strong. no more tear from my eyes. I pray to God to every time not let me suffer another loss or ill.

by Pat