This is not easy.
It is now just over 4 months since my father died and I am struggling inwardly. I am coping outwardly and getting on with all that has to be done in life and all the things you have to do after a death etc.
However the inner journey is heavy and tough. My father is the last thing I think about at night and the first thing I think about when I awake. It feels horrible. I do have lovely memories at times too, it is not all heavy. Each person's grief journey is influenced by their circumstances as well of course.
I just wanted to share that I am finding the going tougher as time goes along. I suppose 4 months is still early days.