The Loss of Our Son Michael John

by Karen Larive
(ST. Helen, MI.USA)

Our son Michael John committed suicide, Sept.3,2012. I am having the worse time dealing with it. I here the same words from family, and friends, he's in a better place, he has no more pain he's happy! That is not what I feel, Michael is our boy he should be here with us. For him to give up and do this over a woman who cheated on him he had more to live for, his 2 young daughters who loved him and adore, a mother and father who loved him and a family and friends also loved him. Michael was a young man of 37yrs.of whom could walk into a room and put a smile on your face when he smiled he lit the room up. He loved to laugh and make people happy. When we got the call from Florida and my brother inlaw said they had found him my heart wanted to stop all I remember about that call thinking was not my baby! When we arrived in FL. the detective and medical examiner told us he had showered shaved and he was found laying in the bathroom on his knees on a bath mat with his face on the cold tile floor, there were pills on the floor, but they were not what they found in him in the autopsy report, he had taken 30 vicodine, about 25-30 oxycodone and sleeping pills, they say his heart just stopped. I feel if would have been there I would have seen some kind of sign. I pray with Gods help I can get through this I just can't except the way he died hurting and me not there with him. I do know how all of you parents feel there is loss like losing a child no matter the age they are children.

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Dec 07, 2016
my life as it is now. NEW
by: Anonymous

life is never the same when someone commits always wonder what you could have done. I lost my son by a shot gun behind our old barn. I found him just laying there.he has been gone 4 years the 13th of husband died two years later while having a kidney treatment.its a vey dark place when you are alone. I just have one son left. half my family is gone.

Sep 19, 2013
I GET IT!!!!
by: Lorri Cooley

My heart aches for you as you go through this journey of grief. On October 16, 2012, I too lost my child, Ashley Dawn, age 27, from heart failure. She actually began doing drugs to fight the pain of being molested when she was 12. She was text book for that awful experience. The beginning of 2012 she tried and failed many times to "kick" her addiction, she just couldn't. She contracted pneumonia and it went septic (which means it poisoned her blood) Her heart and lungs couldn't handle it and she had a massive MI. Too young. She was so beautiful and full of life. She left behind a beautiful daughter that my husband and I have the honor of raising. I too have those in my life that say all of those same (wrong) things. Mean well, but really? Like you said, unless you've experienced it there is no way to understand the pain that a parent experiences. I will keep you in my prayers as I hope you will do for me. This life is very short and one day we will get to see our children again.

Jun 13, 2013
loss of son
by: rosemarie kaupp

Dear Karen
I am so sorry for the loss of your son and to read his story. My son died too over the breakup with a young woman. He was alone and far from home. I thought also that I could have or should have done more. We are not super human. I have had to conclude we cannot control our adult children even when they need help. As for being in a better place, I ask people where would you want your child? People mean well but they don't understand how profound our losses are. It took me time, but I had to realize Chris would not want me beating myself up over anything I did or didn't do. The image of him being alone still haunts me. A nun in pastoral care told me you never die alone. A spirit of some loved one always comes to be with you. Your son knew you loved him and knows it still. His pain somehow overwhelmed him. It will take time and patience and kindness to yourself to move through this. Things can and will get better. I will pray for you to find peace.

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