CAMELLIAS (poem about grief)

by beth ellen jack
(huntington beach ca)

CAMELLIAS
With my own grief, I know
how memories float precariously
like camellia flowers in a bowl of water,
too soon, they bruise, lose all color,
fragrance and beauty.
Conversations scatter like petals
blown from Wisteria, before the tree mourns
its’ purple, reminds me of loss
when bent forward by storms, just as stricken
as my words to articulate your absence.

The repetition of love never disappears,
just retreats behind closed eye-lids, uneven
as shadows that mimic places that once guided
light, and we no longer feel the curl of finger tips,
no scent, but still we wait for that click
of a familiar door latch, or whisk of padded shoes
on a staircase.

Whatever wanted to stay, to linger,
cannot return, cannot be lured back
with urgent gestures or promises,
like mythic Eurydice,once summoned by love
and music. Those slippery steps going up
from chambers or a sanctum dark as pitch,
like an ache that begins to fade, as tenderness
begins to turn, just as she reaches out
trembling, nearly touches him
but falls back, like tourist without a map
who always lets go of directions.

Beth Ellen Jack @April 2010.

All of my loved ones who have passed on.....

by Teresa Toomey
(Beaver Dam, Kentucky)

A Christmas Without You
By T. Toomey

A Christmas without you
brings so much pain
as my heart yearns to have you near.

A prayer unanswered
to share Christmas with you
because I miss you so much, my dear.

You are my child, my grandparent,
or my very best friend,
whose life was taken too soon…

To spend Christmas this year
in the Heavens above
with the angels singing their glorious tune.

So as my heart aches this season
and I silently shed tears
as I wish to have you with me…

I know deep down you are here
this year…
you are the twinkle of the star on my tree.

In Loving Memory....

by Beryle Manz
(Australia)

The time has come to say good-bye
to a friend so near and dear.
To cherish all the good times had
which occurred throughout the years.

It was always such a pleasure
to see your smiling face.
This is now a treasure
that can never be replaced.

On the day God called you home
time had just stood still.
I still can't believe it
I guess I never will.

May the Lord keep watch
over the loved ones left behind.
To help them gain the strength they need
and give them peace of mind.

My 100 Words

Parting words of I love you and a whispered goodbye.
Night filled with fog.
A one-eyed car with a wish made but not granted.

Comforted by your scent on the pillow and blanket.
Morning greeting of a traffic jam and a panicked brother.
CHAOS.
Empty words from a clergyman. Hateful words from a doctor.
Blank faces from the nurses. Heart-felt hug from a valet angel.

Jolting breaths. Half-lidded eyes. GONE.
So small so tiny.
Bony knees beneath the blanket.
Last hugs. Last kiss. My hand holding yours – memorizing.
Nothingness. Sister crying and brother running.
Pain. Sadness. Confusion. Lost.

Still lost.

Velocity

by Ann
(California)

In the few seconds it takes
a heart to go from thump to flutter to still,
a single breath to catch, hold, dissolve,
the echo of an unanswered ring to fade,
my steep rushing descent from
lush to sere,
here to gone,
both to one,
is complete.

And after that careening drop,
the crash and crush and shock,
a dreary hopeless waiting starts.
For the news that this is not real, not true.
Wrong house, wrong body, wrong urn.
For you to call and say:
okay, enough, too much, I'm back.
Or even an outlandish tale of kidnapping
amnesia, a miraculous rescue.
For Superman to reverse our spin.
For that brief mistaken moment
to be unhappened by love's imperative.

We'd play it down, and not tempt fate;
no ringing joyous cry, no exuberant embrace.
We'd simply rise, and
from our knees and hands
we'd brush the gritty dust.
We'd smile gently at each other,
and you'd lay your now warm palm
on my now dry cheek, just so.
Then we'd shake our heads in relief,
in grateful disbelief,
at close calls and narrow escapes,
at grace.

In a hundred wishful moments a day I think:
This, all this, has surely gone on long enough
for a reprieve, a correction,
an earned return to life before.
And even before that impatient twitch has registered,
I see again the unwavering road ahead,
and the steady march
of happened and finished,
and over and done,
of ashes to ashes,
and gone, gone,
oh, forever and always gone,
to the vanishing point and beyond.

Dance Of The Butterfly

by Barbara Armijo
(Colorado Springs, Colorado)

Where do we go when we leave this earth
Somewhere high so we can see those we love
Perhaps a top a mountain peak
Or maybe on the wings of a dove?

They say there are Angels to guide us
Showing us where heaven awaits
On the way to heaven will we see a rainbow
Or a sunset the color of the gates?

Will a shooting star cross our eyes
So a wish could be made on its tail
Well, what would one wish for on the way to heaven
With an Angel to navigate our sail?

Maybe a wish for our loved ones
So they can hear us when we are near
We could tell of rainbows and shooting stars
Say "I Love You and I'll Always Be Here."

As drifters our world goes round and round
Good things get harder to see
Like an eagle stretched in amazing flight
Or the flutter through your hair "That Was Me!"

You See..
Death is not the end of our spirit
This is not when we die
As springtime is the keeper of life
Passing is the Dance Of The Butterfly..

The Chosen One

suddenly...


waiting rooms, lab tests, medications unseen
no time, not a blink, life right to the brink
no pain, no suffering
a day so alive and new

oh to be one of the chosen few

suddenly...

there's the call, a sound extroidanaire
nothing heard on earth can compare
a light, a peace, an all of everything
the unconditional love only this new world can bring
a day so alive and new

grateful to be one of the chosen few

Aran Varsani

by Dax
(London)

It only takes a little space,
To write how much we miss you,
But it will take the rest of our lives,
To forget the way we lost you.

So much has changed since you've been gone, 
Through ups and downs our lives move on, 
But as time rolls by one thing remains true, 
We'll always have Sweet loving memories of you.
Although you can't be here with me, We're truly not apart, 
Until the final breath I take,You'll be living in my heart.

Missing you always
Mummy, Daddy, big sis Vianna and your twin brother Ishan. Xxxxx

Walter(Sonny) Talkington. Jr

by Judy Talkington
(Bridgeport, Wv)

FOR THE ONE I LOVE

Thank you for sharing my world..for warming it with your thoughtfulness and brightening it with your laughter..
For always listening with patience and somehow understanding what I can't find words to say..
For reaching out so often with a tender look or smile and gently touching my heart..
For being a part of my happiest moments and bringing the sun to my cloudiest of days.
For encouraging my highest hopes and praising even my smallest successes.
For giving so much of yourself and helping me discover so much about myself..
For being the caring person who makes my world so beautiful..

I love you
You are sadly missed by me, Gretchen, John, Brianna, Josh, Elizabeth, JD, Duane, Beth, Kevin and Jenna

Your memories are in our hearts forever.

Jenna Lester

by Melissa

The weight of untold words lays heavy on my heart,
It never crossed my mind that we would be apart.
Taking time for granted is what I’m guilty of,
The punishment too cruel, I lost the one I love.
Each moment is a heartache, each day became a chore
Inside I am a shadow, curled up on the floor.
The light at the end of the tunnel disappeared the day you died,
Maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much if I ran away to hide.
The memory of you is all I am, I wouldn’t survive if it went away,
Although I treasure each thought of you, they haunt me each and every day.
Happily would I sacrifice everything I am, have and know,
To see your smile, to hold your hand, to give me a little hope.
Don’t tell me it’s going to be okay and that I’ll see her face again
I don’t need to hear your broken lies, I just need to see my friend.
Time is not a healer, it only makes my visions fade
Oh Jenna how I miss you, I wish you could have stayed.


Melissa Priestley

Gone

by Beth
(UK)

The 2nd of November,
I never will forget.
That's the day you went away,
And my life filled with regret.

I didn't even know your favourite song,
it didn't matter at the time.
But now I have nothing much else to think about,
Except keep going and pretend you're fine.

I never thought I'd loose you,
I thought you would get better.
When you left me it ripped a hole in my heart,
And I don't know how to fix it.

Now that you have disappeared,
It seems like you never existed.
I don't have any proof of you,
Just the gap you left behind when you left me.

Everything feels so mundane now,
As in to the darkness I peer.
All the warmth has drifted away now,
Its even worse than I first feared.

I'll miss the way you always called me beautiful,
almost as much as how much you meant it.
You were so much more than just my friend,
You were my future and I'm so sad we missed it.

They say eventually time will help me heal,
But right now I don't see how.
You've gone, vanished, extinguished.
Nothing is the same without you.