My mom died of suicide.

by Rebecca
(Olympia)

3 Years ago on June 7,2010 my mom died. She killed herself. It's been three years now, it still hurts. Not as bad but it does. I miss my mom. Her name was Neda. I think of her EVERY day of my life. I think of all the good times we had. I have my pug dog and I call her mom as my coping meginism for me to deal with her death. I still say the prayer she tought me when I was little every night when I go to sleep. She was a good mom. There for her kids and cared for others as well. I wish she was still here. On holidays and her birthday is VERY HARD FOR ME!! I can barely get through them!! I don't know how to cope with alot of things. I don't ask myself why anymore. I just ask if I can have closure. Thats my biggest part of her not in my life. I NEVER GOT TO SAY GOOD BYE:( I know she misses me to but I need to somehow get over that she's gone and I can't have closer. Any ideas? My therapist said that I'm going through "complicated grief" over her. Which sounds right. I just wanted to write my feelings. If you lost your loved one of suicide I'm SORRY. The one main thing of advice I can give to you is time. I feel like there is nothing else for me to live for at times but I don't want to hurt the ones that love me like she did. And you have to remember that as well:)