My darling husband, Randall. i've lost to much

1 year and 4 months ago I lost my husbands mother and aunt in a car accident, I loved my mother in law dearly. a drunk driver caused their death. It were a great shock for us. My husband had 2 brothers living with his mother, the one was 21 and the other one were only 9 years old. We had decided to take them into our home. And then my worst nightmare came true my husband who I had known for 7 years and were married for only 4months had an motorbike accident. He passed away. I only find out almost 2hours later on the news on the radio. My husband were only 28 and I an 25 we did not have any children although we were trying for almost a year with no success. I am so lost now without him. Both his brothers are living with sepparate family members now. I feel like a failure. I keep on praying so that we can be together. Other peoples happiness makes me angry. I just want to feel his touch again, want to speak to my best friend again. Its now only 4months how will I ever get over him. Everybody says I'm still young I will love again. But I only want to love him. Is that so wrong. He has been still is my world an I would do anything for him. I've been reading about spirits,if they exist. I sometimes do feel if I feel his presense and other times I beg for it. I want to belief that someday we will be together again but what if I meet somebody else in the future, I don't want to hurt them. My husband will always comes first and own my heart . I am so scared of the future. Because I still love him.

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