For Peace and Freedom from the Pain

My companion of almost 8 years stepped in front of a train Friday after a serious setback that impacted his mental health. He talked about suicide but I didn't think he would do it, he was on anti-depressants for a few weeks, I finally got him to a therapist Wed evening for first time, he spent Thanksgiving with his daughters and by Friday night he was gone. I was focused on my own work that day and thought of calling many times but did not - my therapist told me to keep boundaries for my own protection (he was abusive and I had just taken out an order of protection which created the crisis in late Oct). If I had called, if I had not taken out an order....if if - I failed him and life failed him and I am so sorry

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