Drinking And Driving Effects People More Than You Think.

by Kayla
(Wisconsin)

Almost 6 months ago i lost one of the closest people to me. In a drinking and driving accident. but instead of being in a vehicle my 18 year old cousin was on a dirtbike.

december 1st 2011 changed my families life forever. && that is when i pushed everyone away. I just wanted to be alone. The loss of a loved one is one of the most tragic and devastating things a person could endure. i felt like i would never be able to be happy again. I didn't believe what i heard. and even after saying my last goodbye, i still didn't believe it.

it took over 4 months for me to start to realize he was not coming back. and that i had to deal with that. I still feel pain every single day. i think about him more than i probably should.. i repeatedly watch a video of him singing. just to hear his voice. so i can feel like he is here.

After he died, i quit talking to most people. i lost several friends because i ignored everyone. no matter what anyone said, and how many sorry's i heard, it didn't help. What i was thinking was a sorry will not bring him back. so many people asked me if i was okay. and i said yeah, but i wasnt. i was not okay at all. i didnt know how to deal with it. i didnt know what to think. i didnt know what to say. all i knew was, my cousin is gone forever. But now i know && realize i may not see him or hear him, but he will always be with me wherever i go. guiding me in the right direction, and helping me make the right decisions.

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May 10, 2012
drinking and driving
by: Janelle

Hi Kayla,

Your loss is your own, and even though I am sorry for your loss--you are right that no amount of "sorrys" will bring him back. My husband was also killed because of a drunk driver. So we have some similarities with a sudden and senseless loss.

Your response of pulling way from people is quite normal. It is not a failure on your part. Unfortunately most people don't understand that and take offense, when really you just need your own space to do your own grieving.

You are right, that he is always with you and guiding you. May you continue to find peace in that fact. You can never lose the relationship that you had, even though it is very different now.

In peace and hope,
Janelle

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