brother

by Diane
(San Antonio,TX)

My brother died unexpectedly 3 weeks ago. I keep asking my self when will the tears go away? The first few days i kept hoping that i would get a phone call or a knock on my door with the good news that he was alive, and a mistake was made with identity. After we were given his belongings by medical examiner it became a reality.

I went through a few phases of denial, anger, and confusion. I know I must be strong for my mother. Being at work helps me keep my mind occupied. I miss him dearly, and the thought of not growing old with him really hurts. I don't know where to begin with healing, but I know it will get better with time. Any words of encouragement would help.

Comments for brother

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Oct 14, 2012
 faith
by: Anonymous

I read all the comments on here and really feel the sadness that everyone is left with. It is not like s psin that can just repair itself like a wound or a cut, it is so so intense. The only way i survive the sad loss of my husband is to know he lives on through our little baby boy who is now just over a year old. people say to me thats a old fashioned name when they ask me what i called my son, then i say in a proud voice, i names him after his daddy. My little one brings me so much comfort and often when i see him looking up and smiling, if he can see his daddy watching over us! I say for all you people who have lost a loved one have faith in that they are always with us, they would not want to see you suffer and they will be there watching over us, so just hold that faith.
Oct 12, 2012
 title
by: Anonymous

my brother died 4 months ago now aswell. similar, i think you just need to find a way to express what you are feeling and dont let yourself tumble downwards into something different. try to find a close friend who u can confide in, in my case I have all these different feelings and emotions that i keep contained and i know its effecting my closer friends. the best thing you can do is keep remembering him and one day you will begin to remember with a smile.
May 16, 2012
 loss of little brother
by: catherine moore

almost 5 months ago my 17 year old brother was walking home when he was hit by a car and died on site. i still go thru everyday thinking that its just a bad dream. i keep thinking that i am going to wake up and hes going to be here. nothing seems to help, i am at a total loss. i understand what you went thru is there any advice you can give now that a little time has passed?
Aug 08, 2011
 belife
by: Anonymous

i lost my older brother three weeks ago,i felt like my life was empty.now this week two day ago i lost my other brother, i now feel confused, empty.lost. but when i have got the feelings i have now it will be down to knowing i will see them again some day along with my sister,three brothers, mam and dad,so please live is for them,so enjoy has mutch as you can.
christopher p Hughes
Jul 17, 2011
 brother
by: Anonymous


I am so sorry to read your tragic loss. i really feel for you. It was not my brother i lost but my partner, but he was also young, only 39 when i found him. we were about to get married and expecting his baby.

Any kind of loss is painful, but it seems so tragic and sad when that person dies unexpectedly and at such a young age. I am working through so many different emotions myself, sometimes anger, guilt because i f i'd been there that day i could have easily saved his life. But i know i couldn't have been with him all the time, and it could have happended anywhere. But it still hurts to know you could have saved someones life.

I have even changed my name by deed poll and bought myseld a wedding ring because there will never be any other for me. He will always be my eternity.

I live with the knowledge that wherever I am he is with me forever, I talk to him every night, write him letters, and theres not a day i dont think of him. For me there is never a good bye, don't ever think that way, because for me i know our loved ones will always be with us.
Jul 16, 2011
 Sharing Your Grief
by: Aaron

I really feel for you. I lost my sister almost three weeks ago as well. She was hit by a bus while out for a lunchtime run (and she was only 40 years old - I am 39). We had the horrible pain of seeing her in ICU and having to remove life support. That is something no-one should ever go through.

I miss her terribly and am going through the same as you. It was just so unexpected and a huge loss for our family. Now there is just myself and parents. It has been incredibly hard for my Mum and I have been ringing her constantly.
Jul 11, 2011
 My heart goes out to you
by: Lynda

I lost my older brother on the 27th of October 2010 also. He ended his own life and is something i struggle with everyday. He suffered with deppression for as long as i can remeber. Everything you have written about your loss and how you feel i can relate with all or it. Be strong and believe me you find a way to keep going, i often wonder how my mum and i do but we do and you will too. My heart and prayers are with you. My brothers name was Greg and was 39 years old.
Apr 04, 2011
 my dad
by: Desirae

i miss my dad so much!!! i have so many diffrent emotions i dont kno how to handle:/ i think of him not being there when i graduate or to walk me down the isle. he was all i had left my mother left me to when i was a little girl... i feel alone, and going through all im going through doest make it any easier! but i know my dad loved me and would want me to stay strong...so i just go day by day trying to keep my head up!! god is my only stregth. and allen keeps me going i just know this is going to make me a strong women of god and im going to be the best mother i can be to allen! i love you an we can work through this together!!!!
Mar 05, 2011
 brother
by: Diane

I appreciate the comments I have recieved regarding the loss of my brother. I still feel confused because the cause of death is unknown. Ruled possible drug overdose. His body was found in an abandoned house located right next door to our mother's house. That is what hurts the most aside from the fact that he is gone. Here are more details. Gabriel was his name he was 40 years old. We were close. He leaves behind 4 children. The youngest just 7 weeks old,a grandson, myself, my mother, and 2 brothers. My brother struggled with drug addiction, but had gone to rehab for a year, and seemed to have been doing well, and looked healthy. I guess the autopsy report will bring some closure, but only time will ease our pain. I still have so many questions.It's gotten easier to look at his pictures now so I think I will start a memory book. I also have faith in God's Word regarding death. Thanks so much.
Mar 04, 2011
 Love
by: Karen


Hello, Diane.

Only those who have traveled or are currently on the "journey"" can understand what you are feeling. Please accept my sympathy. The pain will be with you, but time will make that pain bearable. Your love, that you have for your brother, will always be a warm smile in your heart.
Mar 04, 2011
 Loss of your brother.
by: Toni

First let me say how sorry I am that you lost your
brother. My sister died unexpectedly one week ago
today. I am lost. I have spent the last week keeping busy with tears putting her memorial together which will be tomorrow. Bernie was one of
10 siblings 4th of 7 girls. She was closest in age to me and in the last decade we had reconnected after raising our children and found
more time to talk weekly. She was my rock and
best friend. The thing about having sisters is that you have girlfriends but you never really get
as close cause you have your sisters for that. Was
it the same with your brother? I will try to do
anything I can to get through this as whole as I
can...is that possible? We shall see shant we.

Mar 04, 2011
 your brother
by: Janelle

Diane,

I'm sorry for the loss of your brother. Anger, denial, and confusion sound like some pretty normal emotions to be experiencing.

Everyone deals with grief differently. One thing that I found helpful is spending some time remembering my happy memories and putting them into memory books.

I'll be thinking of you.

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