being single and lonely

by n w

I have been grieving and depressed after being single, lonely, and rejected for the last 10 years. I am 35 and have been able to only watch over that length of time as all people around me, whether at church, at work, or at leisure - and my friends and relatives - would find someone, marry, and have children.

They all look so happy, are lucky to find someone so fast, and I only look on, waiting. I've spoken and prayed to the Lord many times but my tears are becoming too heavy for me to take any longer. When I get on with someone my hopes are raised and my joy lifts, if only for a season.

I ask you sovereign Lord in Jesus' mighty name that I receive your promise soon, of a believing husband, and that I even have children who will take after your namesake. Lord also that my loneliness will give way to peace in You. Amen.

administrator's response:

Dear N.W.,

This is difficult. I've spoken with many young women who have felt the same way, and I know how hard it can be.

You might try a type of prayer called Prayer of Imagination. This is where you read a Gospel story and imagine what it would be like to be in that story--use your mind to "see" the details.

There are many times when Jesus is lonely--40 days in the wilderness, going up into the mountain exhausted after the crowds have left, being in the Garden before his death.

You might pick on of those stories and talk to Jesus about what the loneliness was like for him. Ask him how he made it through those difficult days. Sometimes we tend to say, "Oh he was God so it was easier for him." But if he was truly human like he claimed to be, then he would have felt loneliness as deep as yours and struggled just as deeply to find a way through.

I also have a friend who did a lot of journaling to work through her singleness and loneliness.

Whether or not this feels helpful to you, know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers today.


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